Now that that teeny oil leak in the gulf is juuuuust about buggered up, its time to get down to the serious question: When do we start eating the shrimp and oysters again? Well, if you must wonder, the answer is "now"! Wait, you don't want to eat this seafood fresh from the Gulf Coast? You're worried about ingesting crude oil components or a toxic, proprietary chemical dispersant formulated by BP? Fuck you, you elitist snob! Didn't you hear that Gulf Coast seafood was entirely safe to eat?!? That's because the MARKETING CAMPAIGN hasn't started yet!
