Rick'nBeebs -- An Unrequited, Long-Distance Bromance

The Next Human Genome That Should Be Sequenced

Between Craig Venter, Stephen Quake, and James Watson, the list of humans who have had their genome sequenced is short, and is focused on those who lead genome sequencing research. However, a long-term goal of genome sequencing is to identify sequence/function relationships so that we may one day achieve a Gattaca-esque dystopia -- where specific genome sequences with positive functions are built into embryonic DNA to create a race of homosapien 2.0 supersoldiers. The only real question is if the good guy will be a breakaway supersoldier, or an obsolete human castoff. At this rate, based on our current sequencing trends, our "improved" bio-successors will instead be a race of ego-maniacal, hyper-intelligent, creepy biochemists. And we ALL know, that in the future, feeble, hyper-intelligent biochemists will be slaughtered by their own cyborgs.

In Attack of In Defense of Food

We finally got around to reading Micheal Pollan's dietary blueprint, In Defense of Food. Its simple guideline of "Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants." rolls off the tongues of bloggers and message board responders as easy as '1st!' does from the keyboard of blog commenters. However, a cognitive dissonance and poor logic arguments exist in the later sections of the book.

Worst. TV. Show. Ever.

With the best of intentions come the most spectacular of train crashes, and in this spirit we will speak of our unfortunate life-portion lost to watching PBS's Spain: On The Road Again. While a show about the great culinary traditions of Spain seems like a no-brainer, leave it to this unlikely pack of entitled, pampered narcissists to overshare worse than a 17 year old LiveJournaler without leaving behind nary a scrap of actual substance. It's hard to tell where to start a systematic takedown of this show, as we've seen episodes of Laguna Beach that have killed less of our brain cells. We'd better go character by character.

The Future Will Be Full of Disgusting Cross-Contaminated Beverages

Recently The Consumerist had a fawning post about a new Coca Cola fountain beverage dispenser that has more than 100 flavors. We on the other hand were horrified. There is a lot to dislike here -- the slow touch screen interface sure to confound the technologically challenged, the loss of the time-honored childhood tradition of combining multiple flavors, the Skynet-esque computer ubiquity...

Introducing THE BROOKLYN BKLYN

We haven't posted here at DBB for awhile because we've been working on introducing our first commercial venture, THE BROOKLYN BKLYN. What is THE BROOKLYN BKLYN? It is the most Brooklyn thing Brooklyn has ever Brooklyned. Let us put it this way: we know the high rise developers are trying to turn Brooklyn into Anywhere U.S.A, full of Starbucks and Subways when you can just go to the deli and get a fucking tamale. And we know that trust fund posers are ruining the Brooklyn vibe that made Brooklyn what it is: a style that lazy Urban Outfitters designers can rip off and sell worldwide to people who didn't like high school. What happens when those very people graduate college, move to Brooklyn, and still wear clothes from Urban Outfitters? What will the Urban Outfitters designers design then? Have you ever watched a snake eat itself?!?

How to Defeat United Airlines' Kiosk Lies

We had a flight today going from LaGuardia to New Orleans, with a connection in Chicago. Upon our check-in, we were told that the flight had been delayed and I would miss my connection. The only available flight was one that connected in Denver, and took 11 hours to complete. A glance at the agent counter revealed an unmoving line full of frowny faces in the same situation as ourselves. So as to not get completely stranded, we accepted the Denver tickets and made our way back home. Of course, a simple Orbitz search showed many other United flights with much less Sisyphean connections. Changing our flight to one with a short layover in Philly, Charlotte, or DC should be taken care of by a simple phone call, right? Well, it did just take a phone call, but it was far from simple.