Geaux Buckeyes!

Oh Yeah! College Football fans, we're here at the Allstate FanFest in New Orleans, your home to celebrate both the Sugar Bowl, featuring the Georgia Bulldogs taking on the Hawaii Warriors, and the BCS National Championship, in which The Ohio State Buckeyes try to stay #1 against the hometown favorites, the Louisiana State Tigers! Over at the receiver challenge booth, you will have the chance to test YOUR football skills against some inflatable plastic targets. Or, if paperwork is more your style, head on over to that table to the left to sign off on some worthless hurricane insurance! Be sure to be on time for your team's Pep Rally where you can show the world who has the best fans! Yes, we here at the Allstate FanFest know your home was destroyed during Hurricane Katrina, but we are unable to award your claim since the damage has been determined to be caused by a storm surge rather than direct wind! Speaking of wind, test your leg against the elements and try to make a field goal on our replica post! We are aware that the only thing worse than stealing years of insurance payments with no intentions of paying the claims is guiltlessly sponsoring high-profile sporting events in the affected region! Our technicalities are as obscene as our shame is absent!

Like the weight of debt and home loss constantly on your shoulders, see if your children can run to the end of this inflaty-thingy with a rope tied to their torso! If only all these settlement appeals were this easy to rein in! Shit, here at Allstate we would much rather spend like 20 million on this naming rights crap than rebuilding homes. One gets us like a hundred million in marketing value, whereas the other only gives us an image of integrity. Don't get us wrong, here at Allstate we love having an image of integrity, but we just pay Dennis Haysbert and his calm, baritone oratory for that. If you are feeling frustrated right now, why don't you just toss the pigskin around and see if your hands are as good as ours. Sure, we could have just waited a year and sponsored some bowl games in other cities, but we really just wanted to show off in front of the communities we've profited so much from! That's Allstate's Stand!