Keep Austin Weird BBQ Tofu Sandwiches

While the title should be spoken ironically, the dish should definitely be eaten genuinely. Self-styled 12 year veterans of the State of Texas, Bloggy Blog knows a thing or two about an average day there, we tell you what:

1. Awake to the sounds of someone breaking in; shoot them dead; life-goal now achieved
2. Remember Alamo; forget everything else and stumble around in an amnesiac state
3. Drive around endless sprawl in F-150; count pattern of repeating franchised eateries
4. Lower taxes; work for a living and able to take care of everything oneself, thank you very much
   

Despite what the average day of a Texan might seem, the average day of an Austinite is actually quite different. It is much more weird, quirky, and offbeat, and involves a lot of shopping at Whole Foods. As such, its residents might actually eat this in their native environment.

You should start by prepping the tofu (you will need one package):

1. Open package and drain as much as possible
2. Wrap tofu brick in 4+ paper towels, place between two plates, with a weight on top
3. After about 3o mins of drawing out excess water, discard paper towels and slice lengthwise into 4 pieces
4. Put into freezer until sides are frozen but slice is not all Walt Disney and stuff(30-45 mins)

Cover the bottom of a pan generously with olive oil and heat it up. The tofu slices go directly from the freezer into the hot oil. Put a lid on that puppy before you start looking like Daniel Plainview, and cook 10-15 mins on each side, until they are as crispy as a hitchhiker in Midland. Then throw a whole mess of diced onions and green peppers on top of them there tofu slices. Slather that in your favorite BBQ sauce (and maybe some hot sauce too) and it should look something like this:
You can cook that down a bit until the sauce starts getting sticky on the edges of the pan. The tofu will be sucking in some of that flavor as well. Cut open 4 small whole wheat buns, and put a slice of tofu in each one, as well as a "Texas-sized" dollop of sauce n' onions. Top with a slice of homemade fridge pickle, and well as fresh-chopped scallions, cilantro, and/or dill.

Coleslaw could work with this sandwich too, we reckon. Crack open a Shiner Bock and get right to it! Come to think of it, the end product is something like a bizzaro-world version of one of our obsessions, Banh Mi.