Want Wal-Mart To Steal Your Ideas?

We remember in the early 2000s when the guitarist for Limp Bizkit quit and the search for a replacement took the form of open auditions in Guitar Centers across the country.  Prospective Bizkits had to play original material, which was recorded, and sign an obligatory waiver.  Not only did the shrewd Durst eschew all the contestants in favor of the "guy from Korn"-- as internet theorists claim -- he had an album's worth of riffs to steal without liability.  In this spirit, we would like to publicize the 2010 Walmart Better Living Business Plan Challenge!

You -- yes you -- are invited to present the best business plan for sustainability to panels of Wal-Mart judges in a nationwide contest!  By sustainability, Wal-Mart of course, means efficiency.  And by efficiency, Wal-Mart of course, means saving money (their money).  If you win you get $20,000, not to blow on hookers and cocaine, but your actual business idea.  Wal-Mart won't be fronting the taxes on that 20K, so you'll need to have that much liquidity already.  Like Durst, Wal-Mart reserves the right to not give any prize if no contestants are determined to be worthy.

While 20K would seem like a lot to the average Wal-Mart shopper, Wal-Mart is obviously one of the largest corporations in the world and 20K amounts to the spare change they scrape off their shoes.  It is a paltry sum -- even web startups in which the founders keep their day jobs have to raise multiples of this amount.  If someone had a good, profitable business plan, Venture Capital firms would be giving it hundreds of thousands of dollars, not tens.  An efficient business practice for existing corporations could be patented and licensed for hundreds of thousands of dollars as well -- why in the world would anyone give these ideas to Wal-Mart for the slim chance at 20K?

Basically, Wal-Mart executives want to hear the best business ideas that the country's college students can think of, and won't even give the winner enough money to have a fair shot of realizing its potential.  Meanwhile, Wal-Mart has its billions in capital on hand to actually enact any business plan it wants to.  This doesn't pass the "smell test" by any means.  In the rules Wal-Mart spells out exactly how they will screw you out of your ingenuity:

8.  NO RECOURSE TO JUDICIAL OR OTHER PROCEDURES:

To the extent permitted by law, the rights to litigate, to seek injunctive relief or to make any other recourse to judicial or any other procedure in case of disputes or claims resulting from or in connection with this Challenge are hereby excluded, and any Team Member expressly waives any and all such rights. In the event that a court of competent jurisdiction finds the foregoing waiver unenforceable, Team Members hereby consent to the jurisdiction and venue residing exclusively within the federal or state courts in the state of Arkansas, United States and agree that any and all disputes, claims, and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Challenge or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. Team Members agree that these Official Rules are governed by the laws of Arkansas.

Basically you waive the right to sue Wal-Mart for stealing your ideas, and even if you convince a court to hear your case, you have agreed that the case will be heard in an Arkansas court.  Presumably in Arkansas, the courts are located in the front of the Super Wal-Mart, between the eyeglasses place and the returns area.  Your court-appointed non-union lawyer makes minimum wage and no benefits, and if it is alright with you, would prefer to get back to checking receipts.  You will lose this trial.

This contest is only open to university students un-savvy enough to donate their intellectual property for zero compensation.  Here's our business plan -- if you actually have the kind of profit-generating idea that would win a contest -- don't give it to anyone that asks that you waive your rights for the privilege of pitching it.