Sunday, December 26, 2010

We're on Team STFU



The most culturally transcendent moment of 2010 in America was undoubtedly the war over "The Tonight Show", in which the fears and stereotypes of generational angst played out on the national stage. Every audience member in this great show had the opportunity to jeer and opionionate with this ugly episode.

In one corner was the redheaded upstart Conan O'Brien, who toiled for years in Late Late Night and slowly gained enough confidence to want to move up. Jay Leno and NBC promised him "The Tonight Show" and he patiently waited, but when it was time, all they did was undermine him and take away his show before he had been given a fair chance to succeed. While Conan is decidedly a member of "Generation X", Team Coco was mostly made of "Millennials" who had grown up watching Conan while in middle/high school. Staying up later than everyone else in their family so that they could sit on the floor, eat ice cream out of the carton, and chill, Millenials had a deep emotional bond with Conan.

Unfortunately, most of Team Coco didn't notice that the shows writing had gradually lost steam since it had lost its greatest source of jokes: that they were 'outsiders' who 'nobody' watched because the timeslot was so bad. Of course, you were watching, so this only deepened your attachment to the show. We're not sure in what alternate universe a 6'4" white guy who went to Harvard is a quirky underdog, but Conan was 100% successful in casting himself as one. Nobody above a B lister was ever a guest and moderately alt bands were on sometimes. How can you make jokes about being the underdog once Tom Cruise and Will Smith become regular guests? How can you show the Masturbating Bear or Triumph TICD to "Middle America"? Gaining a bigger audience was the worst thing to happen to Conan. If you want respect as a comedian, its better to be funny than to be widely popular.

When The Tonight Show was taken back from Conan, Millennials saw their own struggles magnified. To much hand-wringing, Millennials are the most unemployed age group, who live with their parents and put off marriage because they are unemployed. They perceive that a big reason they can't get "jobs worth having" is because of all the "Boomers" who are grasping onto their jobs too long. And here was this old guy, Jay Leno, having the chutzpah to not retire when told, taking away the position that he promised to Conan! Plus, all he did was buy gas guzzling cars and endorse Republicans and not be funny at all.

When The Tonight Show was taken away from Jay, Boomers saw their own struggles magnified. Here came this young guy who felt entitled to a position he didn't earn! All Jay Leno had done was completely dominate the ratings for over a decade, and as a reward he was being coaxed into a nursing home so they could hand the job over to some guy who didn't even make jokes about newspaper typos. Well you know what, you can take this "retirement package" and shove it up your ass! I'll hand over my job when my performance merits it and not a moment sooner! If these 'Team Cocos' or whatever like him so much, why didn't they actually watch him and give him ratings?

Well, you know how this turned out. Conan got banished to cable, and we moved back into our parents house.

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