Thought I had it all
Graduated and 'got a job' in an alt.area
Thought I could live somewhere alt
Be one of those bros who just bikes places
Who flakes out on apptmnts 2 do something more relevant
Consume locally, nosh on fusion tacos/remixed comfort food/seasonal new american fare
Do other relevant things I found on my iPhone
But apartments were ugly/expensive/shitty
Is it crazy 2 want central heat/dishwasher/laundry?
Had 2 hold off on 'joining the scene'
Moved n2 my parents house in the exurbs
Now I'm just a bro that commutes
Now I'm just a bro that only goes 5 mph over the speed limit [via not getting pulled over]
Just a bro who hits the steering wheel in anger when some1 drives slow in the left lane
Just a bro who passes on the right
This bro is doomed to this life
Eating value 'meals' + frozen broccoli 'mega-packs'
Waking up at 4:30 AM 2 beat 'the traffic' + listening to morning radio w/ 'witty banter'
Having neighbors who 'H8 Obamacare' + 'drop the n-word in casual conversation'
'Whacking it' in a private viewing room in an adult video store off a 'frontage road' on the way 2 work because I'm 2 tired 2 'make love to my wife' at night
This bro is me
What do y'all think?
When u want to just drive slow do u chill in the middle lane or get over 2 the right one?
Are 'frontage roads' the best thing or worst thing about America?
Will my children grow 2 resent the comfortable suburban life I will provide 4 them?
Will my children eventually move away to Canada and join/start a 'collective'?
Should I give up on living a moderately alt.lifestyle?
Should every1 n my family have their own car?
Should I value granite countertops/stainless steel appliances/access 2 swimming pool/access 2 fitness center ovr proximity to alt cafes/food trucks/performance spaces/co-operatives?
Should I just 'bite the bullet' and move to a shitty apartment complex in the first ring of suburbs 2 'shave' 20 mins off my commute?
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