Going for the Gold in Olympics H8ting

While Michael Phelps continues his quest to saturate SportsCenter more than Brett Favre, the US is pointing fingers and shouting "Cheater!, Cheater!" as much as they can. In a groundbreaking anemia-strategy, official Olympic Drug Testing People have apparently taken four pre-race blood samples from one the guys who can out-sprint Tyson Gay. Hey, sprinting is an anerobic exercise, right? Meanwhile the Liberal American Media is doing its best to perpetuate stereotypes by saying that two Gold-medalist Chinese gymnasts look younger than the age minimum of 16. Which brings us back to our innate dislike for arbitrary inefficiency in sport; why is there an age limit? Why aren't the best gymnasts in the world in the Olympics?

The reasons cited for the ban often reference the advantages younger gymnasts have. For one, being lighter and shorter give them a greater ability to throw themselves into the air. Coaches say they are more fearless as well. Both of those sound like excellent reasons to get rid of the age minimum. Among the populace, support for an age limit is often framed in terms of putting the stress and pressure of Olympic competition at a mature age. However, we sincerely doubt that State-run training centers and Tennis dads worldwide put promising underage gymnasts under any kind of more relaxed training than the eligible ones. Furthermore, if gymnasts got their medals out the way at their younger peak, they could get out of the sport earlier, start living a normal life, and just join Cirque du Soleil already. It would save us all the the awkwardness of watching squeaky interviews with puberty-cheating 18 year old medalists.

For more Olympic H8ting, read this.