Introducing THE BROOKLYN BKLYN

We haven't posted here at DBB for awhile because we've been working on introducing our first commercial venture, THE BROOKLYN BKLYN. What is THE BROOKLYN BKLYN? It is the most Brooklyn thing Brooklyn has ever Brooklyned. Let us put it this way: we know the high rise developers are trying to turn Brooklyn into Anywhere U.S.A, full of Starbucks and Subways when you can just go to the deli and get a fucking tamale. And we know that trust fund posers are ruining the Brooklyn vibe that made Brooklyn what it is: a style that lazy Urban Outfitters designers can rip off and sell worldwide to people who didn't like high school. What happens when those very people graduate college, move to Brooklyn, and still wear clothes from Urban Outfitters? What will the Urban Outfitters designers design then? Have you ever watched a snake eat itself?!?


This is the marketplace that calls for THE BROOKLYN BKLYN and will help it succeed. THE BROOKLYN BKLYN will only appeal to real Brooklyn people, and the real Brooklynites will know that THE BROOKLYN BKLYN is a truly authentic Brooklyn experience because it has the word Brooklyn in the title. Things in Brooklyn with the word Brooklyn in the title are always awesome and much better than non-Brooklyn branded alternatives. Having the word Brooklyn twice means THE BROOKLYN BKLYN will be even more awesome and authentically Brooklyn than all of the previous businesses in Brooklyn with the word Brooklyn in the title.

You may ask, "What will THE BROOKLYN BKLYN sell? Is it a bar/cafe with a vegan friendly, Asian-fusion menu or a store that would have messenger bags, fixed-gear bikes, hoodies and the like?" However, we may also snidely reply that "THE BROOKLYN BKLYN is more of an authentic lifestyle than simply a place to spend money. And if you didn't know that, then we suggest you check out the Urban Outfitters in the Village. We hear they have some leggings there". We will also be sure to tell you how much the thing you just bought sucks, and express pleasure that the offensive item is leaving the premises with you.

The flagship THE BROOKLYN BKLYN will be located in Williamsgarden Bushslope so that it is in convenient walking distance for all real Brooklynarians. We pay all of our employees a living wage so go ahead and shop at some corporation if want the true character of your neighborhood to bleed away. Everything at THE BROOKLYN BKLYN was designed and made in Brooklyn from components that originated in Brooklyn. One time a unit from somewhere else got into our production and we had to donate the entire batch to the shelter. Some may call this counterproductive, but we think the true Brooklyntonians will appreciate our artisan attention to detail.