Welcome to the Jungle

Butchering animals for a living used to be something you went to college to avoid, but in the up is down, PBR is table wine, "humanely raised = vegan" world of noveau-Williamsburgherlund, the dumbest generation ever has taken an unironic interest in the craft. But, "in this economy" you can only wish that you could butcher animals for a living. No, you will passionately butcher animals in your spare time, for free, for the profit of a profit-generating enterprise.

Sorry if this post is a bit servicey, we just wanted to pass along this great opportunity for those that already have two years of professional kitchen experience. You can now process carcasses for the bourgeois neighborhood institution known as "Marlow and Daughters" in the position of Unpaid Intern! Is this the nadir of DIY foodism? The nadir of unpaid interships?

A few years ago, one got an unpaid internship because one wanted to do something exclusive and "glamorous" like work in media, and had parents rich enough to set one up for a year or two while you got your foot in the door. The internships were unpaid because the jobs were so desirable that people would do them for free. Also, in this idyllic time, one moved to Williamsburgherlund to do something vaguely 'creative'. "Unglamorous" trades like butchery, silversmithing and the like, involved a subsistence-providing apprenticeship. In Soviet Brooklyn, you make charcuterie for ruler class and are lucky for privilege!

Usually, at this point the lazy blogger makes a lazy joke about the "hipsters/trustafarians" of Williamsburgherlund being lazy. After all, we've used one lazy, outdated meme already! But we're pretty sure that whatever person with such low self-worth that they take this 'job', already has an actual job that pays the bills. What day job does one have in which butchering pasture-raised livestock is a pleasant and fulfilling reprieve from the grind? A crime-scene cleaner? A fluffer at a dog and pony show? A corporate lawyer?