We Think Your Wife Is A Whore, Sincerely Kay Jewelers

We're going to chime in here and take exception to the line of commercials that come around like yuletide clockwork this time of year, the "Every Kiss Begins With Kay" ones. They convey the message that all marriages are loveless, cold affairs where a material transaction is necessary to initiate physical intimacy. And not just any material transaction, no, if you want to kiss your wife you had better have a gemstone/metal composite from Kay Jewelers in a box with a ribbon on it and some grade school poetry to introduce it. Plus, if you want tongue, you had better get your kids to memorize some of your prose, and recite it with perfect timing.

Bloggy Blog understands the need for jewelery advertisements; anything that takes the guesswork out of buying jewelery gives the typical American male more time to eat jerky and visit his kids from his first marriage (before he had enough money for Kay Jewelery). Drive to the mall, plop $700 down, and pre-moisten lips in anticipation of the slobbery embrace that is sure to come. Sounds like a plan. However, despite the footlong-turkey sub connotations ("He went to Jared"), the taglines of their competitors are preferable because they are less explicit about what they think you think about your wife.

Photo: Hans van de Bruggen