Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Discouraging Impulse Buys, One Casual Snark at a Time


We were buying a few sundry items at Marshalls, and while waiting in line noticed the array of generic iPod and Bluetooth accessories intended as Impulse Buys. We went on a mocking riff on them, just loud enough to be obnoxious. The woman in front of us sent a semi-glare back. A couple of minutes later she then discreetly discarded a car-charger from that display onto another Impulse Buy rack.

Your check-out line is pretty efficient, Marshalls, but not fast enough! We remember how you lost our credit card number a year ago, resulting in weight-loss supplements and Girls Gone Wild videos being shipped to our door. We will continue to guilt-trip your patrons in the check-out line until we get over it*!


*Das Bloggy Blog, a family company, reserves all rights, both explicit and implied, to hold a grudge until we are on our deathbed, at which point a dying request will be made to meet with the current Marshalls/TJMaxx CEO. At such meeting, a tender reconciliation will take place in which we acknowledge past mistakes and hope to move on because we really loved them all along, and -cough, cough- [eyes glaze over and body remains still. CEO shouts to heavens. End Scene.]

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